"Frankly, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly it all goes. When you’re young, getting old and the physical limitations contained therein is impossible to comprehend. And then one day you wake-up and it is all too self-evident. Still, once a warrior, always a warrior, and fight I will until the end. With this in mind, I push myself to place my feet on the floor and complete my morning exercise regime, seven squat thrusts, three push-ups and ten crunches.
"I get back up, and linger by the window for a moment taking-in the mass expanse of desert that looms just feet away. There is a great temptation to make a run for it, but I don’t have that kind of energy anymore, much less the desire to actually do so. And yet, this doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t as vibrant as it ever was, or that I do not see the world for what it truly is, something that can sometimes be taken by hard fought negotiation, but mostly, and inevitably, needs to be taken by force.
"I lose myself in this thinking for a moment, awash in nostalgia and possibility, but I am snapped back to reality by the creeping realization that my heart is suddenly pounding, my shoulder blades tightening and beads of sweat have burst loose across my brow and are now flooding the scars that mark my face like the tributaries of Dagobah’s swamp lands.
"In a panic, I quickly look around for my nitroglycerine tablets. I spy them on my nightstand. I struggle to raise my hand into the air, beckon them to come to me, and watch as they hurtle across the room before shakily landing in my palm. I take a moment to regain my strength. I wipe my brow, then fight the childproof cap and take my pill. I drink some water. And I am calm again."